Can’t my wedding coordinator or banquet manager help me to solve some of these problems?

Yes, some cases of family tensions that might arise from issues such as arranging seating or making accommodating selections, can probably be helped by your wedding coordinator or other event organizer. However, while these people are experts in creating a lovely and well–coordinated event, they do not have professional expertise and experience in negotiating the often complex situations and strong emotions that will create the unseen problems at your event.

Is this like seeing a “shrink” for psychotherapy?

This is not about treating psychological or psychiatric problems, but about optimizing relationships. It is completely normal for individuals planning major life cycle events to encounter emotional tensions and family disruptions. Rather than treating something that is abnormal or disordered, a Smooth Relations consultation addresses the normal stressful dynamics that accompany such an important event. The confidential assistance you receive provides insurance that you can manage heightened emotions and prevent situations that will negatively impact on your special day.

How many sessions/meetings will I need?

That depends on your particular situation. Many people have found that just one consultation addressing the most prominent family or relationship issues is sufficient to devise appropriate strategies to defuse tensions that would otherwise escalate into significant problems before or during the event. Some find that their situation is best addressed with two or three meetings. Still others have found that after the initial consultation, it has been helpful to call on Smooth Relations again as tensions mount just prior to the event, or in the case of a surprise disruption.

How long is each meeting?

Consultations are usually scheduled for an hour, but may be scheduled for longer if it appears that your situation would best be helped with an extended session. Typically, extended sessions are appropriate if there are several people involved.

Where are these problem–solving consultations held?

Sessions are held at the Smooth Relations office in Blue Ash. There are private and comfortable accommodations for small consultations or a larger group. The red star in the map below indicates the office location. Click on the map below to open a large satellite photo in a new window.

When in the planning process should these consultations occur?

These can be scheduled whenever you become aware that significant tensions are arising. Sometimes this happens early in the process around issues such as setting a date that will accommodate as many as possible, choosing attendants or making decisions around the nature of the ceremony or religious service. Or the tensions may not become apparent until the planning is further advanced and the final guest list is made. Often it is helpful to have a consultation within the final months before the big event. At this time, many of the event details are in place and the emotional issues can get some of the attention they deserve.

Who should attend these meetings?

Anyone who is significantly involved in the planning of the event or who might be the focus of family tension may be part of the consultation. Smooth Relations specializes in working with difficult combinations — divorced parents (with or without stepparents) of a bride or groom, new in–laws, high–maintenance grandmothers, brides and their strong–willed mothers, etc.

My fiancé and I seem to be arguing more as the wedding approaches. Can Smooth Relations help with this?

Absolutely. While it is common to focus on the details as the big day draws nearer, you probably know that this whole event is about a marriage, a chosen relationship with someone you decide will be a lifetime partner. Most couples experience added tension and stress prior to the wedding. A simple consultation focusing on the relationship will put you back in the frame of mind that helped you decide to create a wedding in the first place.

No, while weddings comprise a large part of the business at Smooth Relations, the planning of other life cycle events tends to involve similar stresses and dynamics. Smooth Relations will work with you on any family event — Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, First Communions, graduations, family reunions, anniversary celebrations — to ensure that the emotional issues are addressed, problems are smoothed out and the memories are much more likely to be pleasant ones.

How much does it cost?

The fee for the initial hour of consultation is $160. All subsequent hours involving the same event (even if different people involved) are billed at $130. Credit cards are accepted.

Why isn’t this a standard service that goes with the planning of every wedding or other life cycle event?

That’s a great question. People seem to get so caught up in planning the details of a very special lifetime event that they often forget the most important underlying relationships at the heart of these events. Today’s culture tends to emphasize the wrapping rather than what’s inside. Yet all life cycle events are about people and the importance of special people in our lives. If you take just a little time to attend to the emotional issues beneath the surface of your big day, it will truly be a day of wonderful memories.